Pros and Cons of Hitting a Brick Wall... Trying to run or hide from the pain

This article is meant to benefit people that has lost their way, or have never found a course in life that they were happy with. Hitting a brick wall, losing or having no motivation can be very beneficial, but only if you take a positive route.

Before I begin on exactly why it can be beneficial, let me explain the darker side to this. Alcohol, drugs, addiction, suicide... basically giving up, and not caring looks and feels so good in the present, due to the fact that it lets you forget about your previous problems. Little do you know that these things are creating more problems in the near future.
Trust me, I've been there and done that. I grew up in a broken family. Ever since the age of 10ish, I knew everything that was going on in the house, literally everything! Instead of being a kid, I had to deal with the hardships that life consisted of. I spent a lot of time hiding all of this from my two younger sisters, thinking that I was doing them a favor. There were constant money struggles, and the fighting between my parents never seemed to go away for too long. By the time I was in high school, I realized that it wasn't a matter of 'if' my parents got separated it was a matter of 'when' they get separated I would do this or that. Ultimately, my parents did separate 3 years after I graduated high school. Even though I knew it was coming, it still hit me pretty hard. My sisters took the worst of it, taking the bulk of it in surprise. It was then that I realized that I should have prepared by sisters for what was inevitable. Soon after I moved out with a couple of friends, choosing to ignore what was going on in my family. During the first year was fun... no worries and a lot of partying. I didn't speak to my father once that year, and I rarely spoke to my mother. But soon after that year my sisters informed me what they were going through and I felt sick that I left the burden on them. At first I tried to fix or better our family situation, but it seemed that everything that I did wasn't good enough. On top of that, I didn't feel that I accomplished anything nor was where I wanted to be in life. That's when I resorted to drugs and alcohol. I tried to forget about my troubles by indulging in alcohol and drugs... anything that would free me of the pain. After all was said and done, I realized that the pain that I was trying to forget about was only hidden under all the drugs and alcohol (much like sweeping dirt under the rug metaphor). During that period I calculated that I spent approximately, if not more, 30k on drugs and alcohol. Little good did that do, it just made me more in debt and messed up my internal organs. I have never missed a day of school or work due to the fact that I was sick, but I saw myself getting sicker more often. Also, I got the great gift of liver disease. If that wasn't bad enough, I turned into someone that I just didn't like. My attitude and actions towards some people was inexcusable.

After I got diagnosed with liver disease I realized I needed to do something. The benefit of hitting rock bottom is that you have no where else to go but up. If you can survive the worst of it then you'll be more prepared for everything in the future. It hasn't been an easy course moving up, I still have my fair share of godforsaken days, and I'm just starting on my journey. The light that shines at the end of the road is what is driving me to become better. Not just for me but also for everyone around me.

If you want something but don't know what it is, just keep looking and trying. You'll find it one day.