With a hat that size, you'll have no trouble

With a hat that size, you'll have no trouble

Choosing an Undergraduate Major...

I'm stuck! I'm 99% sure that I have, after 27 years, decided on what type of career I want to get into. I want to become a Psychiatrist, yep, that means Med school. I never thought I would ever go to Med school but after hours and hours upon hours of researching I realized Psychiatry is just something that will come naturally.

But there's a dilemma... I don't know what to Major in for my Undergraduate degree! GrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRrrrrrrrr! It's so frustrating! I have been researching and the requirements for Med schools doesn't have anything to do with Undergrad Majors. There are other requirements though. But the fact that I can choose any major sucks! I don't want it to be so mundane that I just dread school... but also I want to complete it ASAP! I've been looking at curriculum after curriculum after curriculum only to get more and more frustrated with this process!!!!!!!!! But, then again... i guess a few days or weeks out of my life is worth the fact that I will not be regretting my decision.

I also picked this up through http://www.testq.com/education/quizzes

We think you’re the kind of person who’d enjoy a college major that’s an intellectual extreme sport. Flattery? Hardly. You’re smarter than you think. Probably more comfortable with ideas than anything else, so you might be a great match for an exciting college experience with a major that appeals to your analytical side and talent for independent thinking.

So you should consider majoring in thought-heavy fields like Philosophy, where you can take a wide number of topics and push them to the limit, and Mathematics, where you’ll really get a chance to put that amazing brain of yours to the test with numbers and theories. You could even try challenging your mind majoring in a foreign language or in History.

Word of Advice: If a certain action or reaction can effect the rest of your life, take some time to think about how to react to it. A few minutes, days, weeks, months, or years you take to think about it justifiable. What's years compared to your whole life? Each year is only a fraction.

To Conform or Not to Conform? Society Sucks!

This blog is inspired by a book called "The Element by Ken Robinson, Ph.D."

The element in Dr. Robinson's book refers to the thing you are meant to do in life, your calling. The book goes into detail about what society thinks or does is not necessarily the way everyone should live. He states various reasons and ways to find your life passion, stating the pros and cons along the way. He also recalls a lot of famous people and how they achieved the thing that made them who they are.

Sometimes non-conformity of the norm is the only way to find your true calling in life. Just because a million people does something one way, doesn't mean you can't or shouldn't do it another way. Most people tend to go with the crowd, afraid of going another way for fear of ridicule. Or sometimes, they are just afraid of the unknown.

I believe many beliefs and lifestyles should be thrown out, then, only then, can more people achieve greatness in their lives. But, know this, greatness doesn't equal fame nor fortune. It only means happiness. A true type of happiness that I believe only the elite have felt. If you have experienced true happiness then do what you can to keep it, refuse judgement or fear or negativity that might leave you petrified from keeping it at all cost.

For example, if you love art then keep doing art - knowing that you might only be able to get by in life monetarily wise. Don't fear that you won't be able to afford things. Do it for the love of it.

I envy anyone and everyone that are truly happy in life. I don't care if you live in a studio apartment with 3 other people and have to take the bus everywhere. I don't care if you have 20 cars and live in a mansion. I do not care! I really don't. I do not care about tangible things in life because they will always be there. It is the intangible that I want. Think about it, really think about what is important to you. Would you rather have love or a mansion? patience or money? kindness or a jet?

One last thing... education isn't for everyone! You can have a good career without education and you can have a bad career with education.

To Live Life as if its Your Last Day is Foolish

You've heard it before... there's so many versions of it, but it gist of it is, "Live life as if there's no tomorrow."

I went by that quote for so long in my life that I never thought to analyze it. But as I sit here, thinking about what I've done and what I have, I realized I took the message oh so wrong. I don't regret anything I have done in the past, and I wouldn't change any of it, because I am who I am because of my past and experiences. But one thing I will do, is interpret it in a whole new way.

I used to seldom worry about tomorrow. I always got by doing what I do. Worrying about tomorrow seemed like a waste of time, so I constantly lived in the moment, wondering where I would get my next rush, thrill, experience. I was more worried about experiencing life to the fullest rather than preparing for it. I'm 27 years old... no money or asset to my name, no degrees, and only a handful of experiences that isn't common. What have I gained from all this? Really? Nothing much...The flaw in this way of living is that I have so many years in front of me. Yeah, I can get hit by a bus, instantly die in the next second, get shot, etc etc... but chances are, I won't. I'll live to be past 60 years old. And if I continued living the way I did, then I really wouldn't have anything to show for it the day I do die.

I still want to experience life, but in a different way, a planned way. I want to plan my experiences and get more out of it than 'that was fun', or 'what a rush?'

"Live life as if there's no tomorrow, but plan it like there is one."

About to be a Father... It's Still Surreal, but Getting Real

It's been awhile since I blogged about anything... been quite busy with school, my court case, and preparing for parenthood.

I'll be a father in less than 3 weeks but it was all surreal, still kind of is... but it's getting more real as each day goes by. My wife and I have had 3 wonderful baby showers, and 1 more baby shower is going to be thrown for us. Each baby shower was a wonderful experience for my wife, but for me, it was more like 'Yay, more stuff we don't have to pay for.' So I never really looked through what we got, just kinda kept a mental note of stuff that we, again, don't have to pay for. But today I did the baby's laundry. As I was going through each item of clothing, my mentally went numb. Numb in a good way. It's hit me all of the sudden, that in less than a month I will have someone to care for. A person that is a part of me and my wife, our very own creation. Remember that song, "Just the Two of Us" by Will Smith... well that song makes me think of things that I'll probably be going through one day soon...

'From the first time the doctor placed you in my arms
I knew I'd meet death before I'd let you meet harm
Although questions arose in my mind, would I be man enough?
Against wrong, choose right and be standin up'

'People drivin all fast, got me kinda upset
Got you home safe, placed you in your basonette
That night I don't think one wink I slept
As I slipped out my bed, to your crib I crept
Touched your head gently, felt my heart melt
Cause I know I loved you more than life itself
Then to my knees, and I begged the Lord please
Let me be a good daddy, all he needs
Love, knowledge, discipline too
I pledge my life to you'

It's the Small Things in Life that Make the World Go Around... Simple Things I Appreciate

Here's a list of things that I'm thankful for and that I might take granted on a daily basis. This is a random list... not in any type of order.

Sisters - for letting me do what I need to do, accepting me for who I am, having my back regardless of what has happened in the past
Wife - listening to everything I have to say, being supportive, loving me for who I am
Extended brothers & sisters - I thought about labeling this as friends, but then again people that I actually consider to be 'friends' are so much more to me that I couldn't label them as that... I'm thankful that I have a close knit of extended family that I can rely on, people that will tell me the truth regardless of the consequences

I had this whole list set up in my mind yesterday, but I can't seem to put it in words nor really recall what I wanted to write. I should start keeping a notepad with me and start writing things down.

I wanted to go on this whole spiel about simple things in life that matter, that makes living easier (regardless if you realize it or not). Damn, my mind is going blank! Hold on... a little longer... it's on the tip of my tongue, uh, uh.... (tick, tock)... oh, i... think... i ... got... NOPE! hmmm....................
........................................................................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................................................................

Ok, here's the gist of it... People should STOP worrying about what they don't have, or what they want, and START appreciating everything they take for granted. E.g., oxygen, life, a roof over your head, a blanket, shoes, clothes. No matter how little it may seem to you, be grateful for what you have, don't be mad at what life hasn't brought you, but be happy with what its given you. Hopefully I can gather my thoughts and make a better argument about this later on, but for now... accept this as, let's say Part I to this blog.

Oh, I remember I wanted to add my parents... no matter how much they pissed me off or messed up my childhood, I appreciate what they have done and what they are doing now. Thank you for putting my sisters and me first... for making sure we had food in our stomach, clothes on our back, a bed to sleep on, a blanket to warm up in, the list goes on and on. Me about to become a father has made me realize the sacrifices that my parents went through and are still going through for my sake. I would be lucky to have half the aspirations of parenting that my parents had and still have.

Pros and Cons of Hitting a Brick Wall... Trying to run or hide from the pain

This article is meant to benefit people that has lost their way, or have never found a course in life that they were happy with. Hitting a brick wall, losing or having no motivation can be very beneficial, but only if you take a positive route.

Before I begin on exactly why it can be beneficial, let me explain the darker side to this. Alcohol, drugs, addiction, suicide... basically giving up, and not caring looks and feels so good in the present, due to the fact that it lets you forget about your previous problems. Little do you know that these things are creating more problems in the near future.
Trust me, I've been there and done that. I grew up in a broken family. Ever since the age of 10ish, I knew everything that was going on in the house, literally everything! Instead of being a kid, I had to deal with the hardships that life consisted of. I spent a lot of time hiding all of this from my two younger sisters, thinking that I was doing them a favor. There were constant money struggles, and the fighting between my parents never seemed to go away for too long. By the time I was in high school, I realized that it wasn't a matter of 'if' my parents got separated it was a matter of 'when' they get separated I would do this or that. Ultimately, my parents did separate 3 years after I graduated high school. Even though I knew it was coming, it still hit me pretty hard. My sisters took the worst of it, taking the bulk of it in surprise. It was then that I realized that I should have prepared by sisters for what was inevitable. Soon after I moved out with a couple of friends, choosing to ignore what was going on in my family. During the first year was fun... no worries and a lot of partying. I didn't speak to my father once that year, and I rarely spoke to my mother. But soon after that year my sisters informed me what they were going through and I felt sick that I left the burden on them. At first I tried to fix or better our family situation, but it seemed that everything that I did wasn't good enough. On top of that, I didn't feel that I accomplished anything nor was where I wanted to be in life. That's when I resorted to drugs and alcohol. I tried to forget about my troubles by indulging in alcohol and drugs... anything that would free me of the pain. After all was said and done, I realized that the pain that I was trying to forget about was only hidden under all the drugs and alcohol (much like sweeping dirt under the rug metaphor). During that period I calculated that I spent approximately, if not more, 30k on drugs and alcohol. Little good did that do, it just made me more in debt and messed up my internal organs. I have never missed a day of school or work due to the fact that I was sick, but I saw myself getting sicker more often. Also, I got the great gift of liver disease. If that wasn't bad enough, I turned into someone that I just didn't like. My attitude and actions towards some people was inexcusable.

After I got diagnosed with liver disease I realized I needed to do something. The benefit of hitting rock bottom is that you have no where else to go but up. If you can survive the worst of it then you'll be more prepared for everything in the future. It hasn't been an easy course moving up, I still have my fair share of godforsaken days, and I'm just starting on my journey. The light that shines at the end of the road is what is driving me to become better. Not just for me but also for everyone around me.

If you want something but don't know what it is, just keep looking and trying. You'll find it one day.